A Lady

A Lady. The word seems quite important to me, a summary of everything I want to be. It is, after all, a big part of the focus of Maidens of Virtue. As the potential future director of a discipleship ballet school for girls, I have tried to be a mature, mannerly, sophisticated lady for many years, and have almost succeeded a number of times; but I always get nervous and soil the white linen table cloth at the tea party or realize that I have said the wrong thing in an introduction. In recent years, I felt a strain on my social life as I found that I pressure myself to say just what a lady ought to say, but instead the wrong thing escapes my lips. I want to teach my girls in Bright Lights (our discipleship group) how to be ladies also. Just the other day one of my girls asked me why I emphasize being a lady so much. Perhaps it is because a lady is respectable. A lady is virtuous, noble, and beautiful. All the world respects her strong yet gentle spirit. Perhaps that is also why I like ballet. To me, ballet is the perfect expression of all that a lady is. Strong as steal, graceful as a bird. The problem is that I am not a lady all the time. That is, I do not act like one. I am foolish and say the wrong thing. I giggle too much and act immature. I seem to be very good at doing exactly what I do not want to do sometimes.

In many ways being a lady has become something that is more important to me than almost anything else, but being a lady is not what is most important. Being a lady is secondary to being a woman after God’s own heart. My daily focus is always on proving myself to be a competent, independent, beautiful woman when in reality my focus should again be on Christ. The funny thing is that when I am loving Christ with all my heart and loving others, I am truly being all that a lady should be. Who cares if I introduce the older person to the younger first or vice versa at an important social gathering? Who cares if I scoop my soup spoon away from myself or not? Am I loving my God and King? Am I serving and glorifying Him? I create for myself many rules to help me hold myself together. Anything from food guidelines to courtship standards, but when it comes right down to it, all these things arte futile efforts that will lead me only to realize failure apart from Christ. It is the grace of my loving Lord and Savior and His sanctifying work in my life that will bring about a truly noble character. Everything else seems rather superficial. I have failed in all of these areas this year, and the girls that I mentor know it; however, rather than being dismayed by my failings, my compulsive foolishness, my lack of a heart focus on God, and an over-all immature outlook on the responsibilities of my life, I am encouraged to see that God keeps reminding me to turn to Him, to love Him with all my heart. My life this entire year has been submerged and saturated in His grace, and my testimony is only that of a weak, redeemed sinner turning her eyes one more time on Jesus. A lady? What’s that? I am God’s handmaiden. 

 

All I Have is Christ

The last of the marshmallows were eaten and the Apples to Apples game had begun when I began to think back through the events of the week. I was filled with joy in serving. It had been a fun filled week of getting to interact with and mentor young ladies at Daughters of Destiny Camp in North Carolina. Looking back, I identified my hesitation to start. I had not known whether I could be a good counselor as I had been struggling with my own immaturity, lack of focus on God, and discontentment over the summer, and did not feel that I could set the godly example that I wanted to set over the week to the 15-18 year old girls in my cabin. God was gracious to me. I was able to share with the girls that my struggle for contentment had been met with God's grace. The girls responded with encouragement and so did my senior counselor. I was encouraged to realize that this is exactly what I wanted to do with my life-serve through mentoring, through building genuine relationships. Then I came home. I realized, that I had to give up something that was taking my affections away from God. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I gave it into His hands, and He took it fully away. Now all I have is Christ, and I can fully serve Him in the same way that He allowed me to serve Him at camp, undistracted

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"Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:39

Growing Seedlings

For a few years I have wanted to learn more about caring for children, but the opportunities have been slim. After looking throughout the Summer, I found a job working close to home nannying for toddler siblings named Lorelei and Finley. Lorelei is almost three years old, and Finley just turned one. I began this week. We have been playing, having lunch together, and reading books and singing together. It is such a privilege to be a part of these young children's early years. They may not remember me in the future, but I believe that I can help to make a difference in their young lives. Today I asked Lorelei if she knew who Jesus is. She said that she did and that He was in her heart. I asked her about sin, and she said that she didn't know what sin is. Over the coming weeks, we'll do fun, simple activities that will help her to understand the gospel as well as help her grow as a lady. Nannying is a great opportunity for me to understand better what is involved in caring for children as well. As I am preparing for Maidens of Virtue to become a ministry for young ladies, I also think that this job will help me both to know how to help mothers and to know how to encourage young ladies who are wishing to care for children. It's going to be a growing experience and a blessing to help train these little seedlings to bloom!

"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gates." Psalms 127:4-5.